I had big plans for Valentine's Day.
That day at work I, and all the jackasses I work with, had spent eight hours listening to my chronological Prince playlist (including rarities!) so that when I got home I would be suitably inspired to create my Valentine's Day masterpiece. I was practically giddy with excitement because I had a ton of good ideas and it had been quite some time since I had posted anything. The plan was to create to create a tumultuous emotional roller-coaster filled with everything from joy and laughter to heartbreak and tears all set to the perfect Valentine's Day soundtrack of Prince's epic Purple Rain!
...but (sigh) the end of my work day really sucked ass and the fucking commute home was an abomination. And I'm old, so my back hurt. What I needed was a drink to get me focused and get my energy up. If I was Popeye, whiskey would be my spinach. Revitalization here I come!
And then I had a couple more revitalizations just for good measure!
Soon, it was clear that I had revitalized the fuck out of myself.
In fact, I was so revitalized that I could barely even drag myself over to the kitchen counter to get more revitalization juice. I would do it though, no matter how difficult walking across a room proved to be!
It was my moral responsibility, as a thank you for all his years of ridiculously-amazingness, to do my absolute best work for Prince (whom, I'm fairly certain, I thought was going to to be my BFF after he read my super-awesome post.)
You can probably see where this is going. Obviously, my consumption of way too much alcohol had severely impaired my ability to control my brain by this point and most everything I drew was complete shit. The original concept for the drawing was much too complicated for Revitalized Andrew to handle and so it got simplified down to my favorite part of the idea (and even that was a stretch to complete.) The accompanying text, while entirely true, was the written equivalent of some drunken idiot sitting next to you at a bar leaning over and interrupting your conversation because he thinks people are missing out on how witty he is.
I tried really hard to just let the post go as it was because I've been told many times by many people that not everything I do has to perfect all the time and they are right. On the other hand, I can't really let my work be mediocre garbage if I can help it either. All through the next day at work I couldn't stop thinking about how I needed to fix the previous night's sub-par post. I knew it wasn't the worst thing I'd ever done, but I also knew that it could've been much better.
So it is in the spirit of trying not to be awful at things, and with the stench of sobriety all over me this time, I have completed my original idea for the Valentine's Day post. To bastardize a classic Prince lyric, this is what it looks like when drunks try.
As anyone who's ever been drunk with me while a Prince song is playing will tell you, the highlight of my amazing dancing is always the excessive amount of pointy-finger that I get going.
Don't be jealous, this is just how I get down.