Just ask anyone with a vagina, my coworker Derek is just so goddamn awesome that it's almost mythical! He's absolutely fucking magical!
It's really no wonder that everyone loves Derek so much! Being a lunatic that's obsessed with getting his pump on is so goddamn adorable and totally not scary at all!
I'm not even sure I should post this.
Sometimes when you're a miserable bastard, like 2B or myself, the best you can do on goddamn Valentine's Day is declare your undying love for Prince because he always loves you back no matter how fucking pathetic you might be.
I suppose Emma could be right, but the thought really depresses me.
My new job as The Happiness Fairy is extra difficult for me because I don't believe the product I'm endorsing actually exists.