I finally found Mandy's sweet spot!

Last Saturday local awesome rock band Two Gallants were playing at local awesome rock venue Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco and Mandy happened to have an extra ticket.  I'm not sure if she was planning to give me the extra ticket, but it's quite possible that I may have used my super-willpowers to give her a little extra convincing because I really wanted to see this show and I can be a selfish bastard at times.

After having been to this venue more than a few times in the past, Mandy delivers us there expertly.  She seems to know how to get everywhere, but if there is a problem there will be googling of the location so furiously that it seems like it might be a just a tiny bit of phone rape.

I don't know if you've ever been to a concert with her, but if you haven't I think you should know that Mandy is an excellent concert partner.  Some people of the vaginal persuasion...

ATTENTION!  If you are a woman THIS DOES NOT IN ANY WAY MEAN ANYONE THAT IS YOU or ANYONE THAT YOU KNOW or ANY WOMAN THAT HAS EVER EXISTED ANYWHERE. Do not get all worked up. There is no proof that any of these misogynistic generalizations have ever happened. I am probably just making all of this up.

...can be known to complain about not being able to see even though they wore their absolute tallest heels.  They have also been known to complain that their feet hurt.

This usually leads to me hearing something about how this is their favorite band EVER and how they're having a really really good time, but the band is playing soooo long and are they going to be done soon?  Next, after a look that questions whether I am a complete idiot for even asking, she usually sighs frustratedly "No, I don't want to leave already" followed by her looking at her phone every five fucking seconds until we leave.

Mandy did not do any of these complain-y things even though she was wearing fairly high heels. She goes to a lot of shows and is a champion.  She even has a favorite spot for the best combination of stage view, sound quality and people watching at the venues that she frequents. At Bottom of the Hill we both happen to have the same favorite place.  Yes, I know where Mandy's sweet spot is, but I'm certainly not going to tell YOU where to find it.

Other highly recommended concert going with Mandy positives...

She chatted-up the female bartender about the previous night's show so charmingly that as they talked I found my whiskey getting topped off half way through the conversation even though (or because) I barely said anything.  Smooth.

She takes cool photos that you can steal and use on your blog.

She does not need you to have a good time.  She brings her own friends and spends time with them... away from me.  I know this sounds harsh and is no way intended to imply anything about her friends who I'm sure are not entirely awful (this evening it was Laura & Kavon and they were both lovely) but the new Enlightened Andrew needs time by himself to judge and ridicule other people as a reminder of how far he's come and why he's so much better than everyone else.

Slouchy-skinny jeans I'm lookin' at you motherfucker. No one should go out of their way to look look they have a giant shitloaf resting comfortably in the seat of their pants. I Know how hard those tight jeans are to get off and I have sympathy for you, but I was 13 when I wore them and you are dry humping 30. Have some dignity.

Also, dressing and grooming yourself to look as much like a member of the cool outsider band as humanly possible does NOT make you look like a cool outsider. You look like (and most likely are) a pathetic, desperate retard that may possibly drink his own urine for fun.